Out of Darkness

There are those who are saved by His grace when they are very young. There are those who are saved later in life. It seems that those who are saved very young, (so young that you don't exactly remember when), have a less-than-dramatic testimony.

It seems that ones that have wallowed in darkness longer have a more compelling story of the change from darkness to light to present to others when they were found by Him. It also appears that many of them make up for the lost time while some of us who were saved very young move along in our Christian walk rather slowly.

Pondering this for years has gotten me nowhere. However, I finally put two and two together the other day: My mom had always commented that I cried a lot when I was an infant and toddler. Add that to a very early memory of lying in my crib with the plastic, (60's style), butterfly mobile hanging above with a sense of great despair. I didn't know it was a sense of despair at the time, but I remember how it felt because that deep memory is still in my mind after all these years. Now, I can now properly label it.

Of course I was in despair. I was in darkness - just as much as someone who is in darkness at 25 or 72 years old and unaware of or unwilling to follow the way to eternal life. After seeing my own kids born again at an early age, I have concluded that the so-called "age of accountability" can start as early as 3 1/2 years old. Before that, we are certainly in deep darkness, even despair. Thank God that He just as dramatically saved me from that horrible pit of darkness at about age 4 as He did anyone who has been much older! Sure enough, (strangely enough), I can remember that darkness. He must have given me that memory on purpose and only now, I realize why.