Confidence (2)

Last year was a tough year financially. We found ourselves taking instead of giving. Income was not near what it should be. We pinched pennies and shut down all normal purchasing operations so we could reopen them with very close scrutiny - if even reopening them at all. Every month, it looked like we wouldn't make it into the next without having to borrow money. We sold the van to get away from further trouble and drove the old "beater". Every cent came under my view and I acquired a feel for the monthly cash flow like never before. It didn't take too long to see that each imminent monthly disaster would get averted in various unpredictable ways. I was paying such close attention that I finally got it.

Every cent is under His watch, like every hair, every molecule. It's all His stuff. He moves every cent in and out and makes it flow in a way that accomplishes His perfect way. As well as I got to know the process, I could NEVER anticipate how we would be "bailed out" before month end. But it ALWAYS happened. During that time the Lord also impressed on me that I was not to shrink back from the normal giving to Him.
This year, things are better; BUT we had to get another car when the beater died, someone needed a dental crown suddenly, we put someone on braces, (thinking everything was OK now), AND someone else HAD to go on braces or lose all the work that had previously been done.
It looks impossible again.
Panic time?
Absolutely not!
He built up my confidence last year. He got my attention so I would watch closely. Then, He perfectly orchestrated my escape month by month. How can I doubt anymore? When He builds confidence, (I'm certainly a weak link - but), He does a perfect job.

Creeped Out

We went to the graduation at WCU. They could have skipped the opening prayer and I might not have noticed. Instead they had a (meaningless) "moment of silent reflection". That put me on alert to everything that came afterward. The faculty patted themselves on the back some and then told the students they were now prepared to "make a difference". After all, that's what everyone wants isn't it?

We get home and a well-thought-of brother in the Lord is ranting on Facebook about our carbon footprint and something about how hateful it is for people, (who have a negative opinion of the way our current president is governing), to want to round up and deport illegal aliens. I must have assumed that he knew that the One who created all matter has our environment under His watchful care. Where is this rounding up illegals and deporting anger stuff coming from unless you have bought into the lies of those who make a distinction and are agitating?
I'm starting to get creeped out. We're supposed to be like frogs in the heating pan of water. It's supposed to come on slowly, and we're not supposed to realize it till it's too late. That theory went out the window! It's happening too fast and I can feel it.

While I'm doing the ranting now, I have to know that this same influence of the world is having it's way with me too. Some "checking" questions I should ask myself are:
Is my confidence in the Lord what it should be?
Do I realize that only He can make a difference, so I don't have to self-promote?
Do I have a heart that is willing? Did I ask for one this morning?
Who am I listening to? What am I feeding on?
Isn't pride surfacing in my thoughts almost continually?

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Big Details

We are getting the new roof. No charge.

We've needed a new roof for years. I've been trying not to be concerned about how we are supposed to be able to afford this with all of the other impossible expenses that we have to be able to afford: Hoping not-so-secretly for a "weather event".

Well, it happened. Big time hail. We get a new roof. The One that owns everything gave us a wee little piece of His endless resources before the roof totally failed, (it had been failing in small pieces for many years now due to lack of care when installed new). He is also allowing for the repair of the rotten wood at the door and holes in the siding that have been continuously weighing in the back of my mind.

I didn't realize how happy I'd be about it, but it's truly delightful. How good to feel this thankful.

Look at this verse, which is so real today that I can reach out and grab it with iron-fisted delight: Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5

The roof is being rebuilt and my confidence in the Lord is getting reinforcement.

War of Reality

We have great respect for those who serve in the military, particularly those that are on the front lines and those who serve on special forces. These are the ones who take on the danger, the stress, the wounds and the side effects that come with that duty. They are the best warriors.

While riding the train to downtown on a beautiful spring day, I was able to see the familiar parts of town from another point of view, the view from the train instead of the view from the road. I saw that even though it was a beautiful day and everyone on the train was behaving, it was still not as beautiful as it should be. The signs of creation being ruined are all around. The beauty that we do see is darkness compared to what it should be. The prince of darkness is "having his way".

We, who have Jesus Christ as our Lord, are really those who He has given the permanent occupation of serving on the front line of His battle. What an important job! We are the ones who wield the sword and carry the shield with His strength in our arms, ("as your day, so shall your strength be"); daily battling in the darkness of the emptiness of night.

In reality, we are fighting the world, the flesh and Satan all the time. Why did God give us this vitally important job? It's such an honor for weak ones like us. You can be sure that He didn't give it to us if we couldn't execute our duties for Him. He enables us to wield the weapon and artfully outmaneuver the enemy until we are through. What an honor.

You don't have to play a war-themed video game. You don't have to watch a World War II battle movie. You are living it. You have wounded veterans around that need assistance. You have fellow soldiers that are weakened and need water or defensive rescue. You see the spiritual enemy pursuing one of your own and you have to hack the enemy to peices from behind without hurting your own brother or sister in the Lord. You have the fiery darts of doubt, temptation and discouragement. You have evil waiting just around the corner to launch a projectile that could completely ruin you. It takes godly wisdom, skill and strength from Him, and prayerful dependence on Him.

You have the best that technology has to offer in weaponry. You have an endless supply of belt-feed ammunition, body-armor, detection devices and so much more. God's Word is your unending supply and the Holy Spirit is the supernatural detection device that you need to help you to anticipate trouble.


"Ride out the storm at the gates of dawn
Sing through the tempest til' the music's gone
Legion the enemies to trample down
Warriors of legend and of great reknown

In the arena with an audience of thousands
Clad in the armor of an army yet unseen
Raging a battle in the emptiness of night
with all your might (til' it's done)"

(Excerpt from "Melicus Gladiator" by Proto Kaw)


Smell the burning powder?
There's danger in the air
A voice from deep inside is telling you, 'you must beware'
The enemy is watching
Every step you take
To find his opportunity in every choice you make
And it's no game
When someone lives without His grace
And who's to blame
When it blows up in their face

It's a mine field - you'd better follow Him through
God knows the way - you'd better stick like glue
It's a mine field - better stay on His heels
'cause the enemy kills and the enemy steals
So keep your head down and keep you eyes peeled
'cause life is... Life is a mine field

("Mine Field" excerpt, by Bob Hartman)